The BIG Takeaway™ newsletter By Rich Trombetta Jan. 16, 2023
Using examples from TV, movies and sports to launch a journey toward peace and happiness at work, at home...in life. Grab the remote and change your life.™
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. would have been 94 yesterday. One of my favorite quotes by him doesn't get as much press as some of his more inspirational speeches:
“People fail to get along because they fear each other; they fear each other because they don’t know each other; they don’t know each other because they have not communicated with each other.”
To help learn from this quote I am going to feature a story about two basketball legends, Earvin "Magic" Johnson and Larry Bird. I think you will enjoy it.
We need to talk Using communication to understand and be happier
The context Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were hired by Converse to appear in a sneaker commercial.
Bird refused to go to Los Angeles and insisted they film the advertisement at his home in French Lick, Indiana.
During the production Magic headed toward his production trailer for lunch when Bird stopped him; Bird's mom had made them lunch instead.
The two ate lunch with Bird's motherand brothers in the kitchen of the home Bird had built for his mom.
Watch this story to learn more; it's well worth the 3 minutes.
Let's go a little deeper Bird and Magic were viewed as opposites and the differences were the centerpiece of the commercial; each had assumptions and judgments about the other.
Magic was Black, Bird was White.
Bird embodied the abrasiveness of Boston while Magic was the epitome Los Angeles's glitz.
Magic was charismatic and outgoing; Bird was reserved and introverted.
In their own words Over a meal Bird and Magic got to know one another; the assumptions and differences began to melt away as they talked, laughed and listened.
During lunch Bird got to know Earvin Johnson, not the made-for-television superstar and entertainer "Magic" Johnson.
"Earvin is a good dude." Bird said. "I like Earvin a lot better than Magic."
"I was just so happy to finally be Earvin with him," Johnson said. "We just became two relaxed guys just talking."
Let's connect the dots Johnson and Bird are a great example of Dr. King's statement about people truly knowing and "communicating with each other."
Judgement and ignorance can be happiness killers and can actually HURT you; tension, anger, resentment, fear, envy, and many other negative emotions and feelings can engulf us and rob us of the joy that comes from curiosity and learning.
Bird and Johnson were considered to be dramatically different people when, in reality, they had - and still continue to have - so much in common; they consider each other close friends.
Rather than looking through the lens of judgement or living with ignorance, the two sought to listen and learn through a civil and respectful conversation.
Imagine what our work, family lives and our communities - and our own happiness - would look like if instead of fearing or judging others we sat down and communicated with them, learned about them and worked to understand them.
My BIG Takeaway
If I want to be happier I need to take more time to truly get to know people, especially those who I might fear, judge or know very little about. Can I go a minute, an hour, a day without judging? It will be difficult but if I can do it I will learn more and increase my sense of happiness.
Additional links
I love this article that describes "mindful communication."
If you want to see a conversation focused on listening and learning watch Matthew McConaughey and former NFL football player Emmanuel Acho have a powerful discussion on "Uncomfortable Conversations With A Black Man"
If you really want to push yourself on this topic watch a segment of the documentary "Accidental Courtesy" about Daryl Davis, a Black man, and his conversations with members of the Ku Klux Klan. He asks them “How can you hate me when you don’t even know me?”
Parting thoughts Today I watched a morning program on a very biased TV network (it might not be the one you are thinking of).
I forced myself to try and watch and listen with a curious, non-judgmental mind; it was EXTREMELY difficult.
However, to my surprise I actually learned something from the hosts.
I also learned that a) I have a lot of work to do and b) I felt more relaxed during and after watching the program.
Time to get to work.
Quote for the week "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
That's all for now Thanks for reading and please remember:
We archive our stories and put them here for the world to read so feel free to have a look.
If you have any ideas or feedbackContact me with your thoughts.
Rich Trombetta @trombettarich
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