The BIG Takeaway™ newsletter By Rich Trombetta Jan. 9, 2023
Using examples from TV, movies and sports to launch a journey toward peace and happiness at work, at home...in life. Grab the remote and change your life.™
Was anyone rooting for the Patriots yesterday? New England had the unenviable task of taking on Damar Hamlin's Buffalo Bills less than a week after Hamlin almost died on the field in a game versus Cincinnati. With the loss the Patriots are out of the playoffs. Good news? Bad news? Who knows?
This week we'll take a look at an ancient Chinese parable and connect it to what took place over the past seven days.
Section No. 1: "God using me in a different way today."
Image: Twitter
Good news? Bad news? Who knows? The power of equanimity
The context There is a famous parable that goes something like this.
A farmer’s only horse ran away. The neighbors, trying to console him, said, “What terrible news about your horse. What will you do?” But the farmer said, “Bad news, good news… who knows?”
A few days later, the horse returned, leading an entire herd of wild horses. The neighbors exclaimed, “How wonderful!” The farmer replied, “Good news, bad news… who knows?”
The next day, the farmer’s son tried to ride one of the new horses. The horse threw the son, who broke both legs. The neighbors said, “What a misfortune! Your son won’t be able to work on the farm.” The farmer stood still and said, “Bad news, good news… who knows?”
Within the week, news of a war had broken out. Soldiers arrived in the village, taking new recruits. All the young men were drafted to fight, except for the farmer’s son.
Good news? Bad news? Who knows? (source: alearningaday.blog)
Let's go a little deeper
I found this story on mindfulness.com that provides great insight into this parable.
"When things go according to our plans, we're overjoyed. But when things don't turn out as we’d hoped, we're deflated. We might berate ourselves for getting our hopes up or lash out at others who we think are responsible for creating the “bad” outcome."
"EQUANIMITY, on the other hand,is considered to be one of the highest forms of happiness we can experience, because we're not constantly fighting our moments and chasing more checkmarks in the Good column and none in the Bad."
Ruth King, founder of the Mindful of Race Institute, notes that "Equanimity...is when we can say to ourselves, “This moment is like this, and it doesn’t have to be different right now. I can allow what is here and offer what is needed.”"
"This doesn’t mean we become numb to the real difficulties in our personal or collective lives. And it certainly doesn’t mean that we rationalize and passively accept injustice in the hopes that one day it’ll lead to a good outcome."
Note: I found this point to be especially helpful, especially when considering people who have had to or currently continue to live through terrible experiences in their lives.
"But when we learn to stop grasping at life’s moments to coerce them into becoming only exactly what we want, we experience a greater fluidity and ease, which supports whatever action we choose to take."
"And the truth is, we don’t always know whether an event will ultimately prove to be “good” or “bad.”
The connection to Damar Hamlin
What is fascinating is that despite all of the physical and emotional pain Hamlin has endured from going into cardiac arrest, he seems at peace and accepting of this day, this hour, this minute, this second.
Prior to yesterday's game Hamlin tweeted "God using me in a different way today." Amazing.
Hamlin's unfathomable tragedy has led to people donating millions of dollars in charitable donations, the CBS Sports crew sincerely saying "I love you" to one another on national TV (didn't see that coming), and an entire nation praying and sending positive energy toward Hamlin and his family.
It has brought forward a conversation on the dangers of sports as well as the importance of mental health and conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). And, the Patriots, one of the winningest NFL franchises, lost to the Bills and many New England fans I spoke to said, "But this was good for Damar." (really, really didn't see that coming)
My BIG Takeaway
I need to explore the concept of equanimity in more depth and be more mindful of when I am "grasping at life’s moments to coerce them into becoming only exactly what [I] want."
This is going to be a TOUGH one and it's going to take A LOT of work.
Flight cancelled? Didn't get the job? Won the lottery? Admitted to a prestigious college? Got a raise? Didn't get the promotion at work? The last seat taken? Only one seat left and you got it? Got your way? Didn't get your way? Unexpected traffic?
Good new? Bad news? Who knows. Let's continue to learn from Damar.
Side note: It goes without saying but I'll say it anyways: God is your God or your own perspective on the universe.
Quote for the week "Equanimity arises when we accept the way things are." Jack Kornfield
That's all for now Thanks for reading and please remember:
We archive our stories and put them here for the world to read so feel free to have a look.
If you have any ideas or feedbackContact me with your thoughts.
Rich Trombetta @trombettarich
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