Leadership lessons from pop culture
The BIG Takeaway™
newsletter
May 30, 2022

​What leaders can learn from TV, sports and movies this week

Hello current and aspiring leaders.

After what happened this week in Texas I don't feel up to trying to write witty jokes or laugh about various shows on TV.

This week I am going to discuss a concept that seems to be much needed right now: finding common ground.
  • To do this I am going to share one of the greatest leadership lessons I have ever learned.

I get it. This isn't the most uplifting introduction and yes, TV shows, movies and sports can provide a distraction from reality. Maybe today we need the opposite.
  • Maybe today we need to face reality.
​
Thoughts and prayers to everyone affected by the tragedy in Texas and for all those who, on this day, are reflecting on losing someone who served in the military.
​
Let's go.

Rich Trombetta
@trombettarich
May 30, 2022
This week's BIG Takeaway
When disagreeing start from a place of common ground.
Image: Pexels
A cab ride and a lesson for a lifetime.
"Create doubt."

The context: Years ago I was in a cab (yes, pre Uber) with a senior leader in the company I worked at.

  • "What is the role of a mediator?" he asked me. "Not in the pure legal sense of the word, but what should they do?"

  • "To get people to agree? Maybe help people solve problems?" I responded.

  • "Their job is to CREATE DOUBT," he told me.

    "Once you create doubt in someone's mind that their position is not absolute, that they might not be 100 percent right, then you have a chance of getting them to move off of their position. And you don't create doubt by telling someone they are wrong or by yelling at them. You ask questions."

What we can learn:  The use of questions to create doubt is one of the most powerful tools a leader has. 

  • Telling someone they are wrong makes things worse. Getting angry or emotional with them really lights the fire.

  • The person will further entrench themselves in their position and, most likely, become heated or disengaged.

  • Instead of arguing or fighting, ask questions that create doubt in the person's mind; then and only then will there be movement toward common ground.

My take: One carefully asked question can change an entire situation.

  • An authority figure in my life was once in a rage. The person said they were going to go over to their sister's house and really give her a piece of their mind. I believe "blow her out of the water" was the exact phrase.

  • Rather than try and rationalize with this person or tell them why they were wrong I simply asked, "What do you think Thanksgiving is going to look like next week?"

  • The person paused, looked at me, and went silent. The heated conversation never took place because they had a flicker of doubt in their mind about their approach. 

    Interestingly the sister contacted this person hours later, apologized and said she wanted to have a peaceful holiday. That was their common ground.

THE BIG TAKEAWAY:  ​​Ask questions, create doubt and seek common ground.
​
  • It doesn't always work but quite often does. Yelling and arguing? Good luck with that.​

    Side note: I will let everyone reading this newsletter extrapolate my approach here and consider how it relates to the major disagreements taking place in America right now. 
ACTION STEPS FOR YOU AND YOUR TEAM
Image: Pixels
Do this to dig deeper and put this skill into ACTION:

​👉​What you can do on your own: 
  • ONE: Read the book "Getting to Yes." If you have already read it, read it again. Here is a quick recap. 
    ​
  • TWO:  Instead of arguing, try asking a questions to create doubt.

  • THREE: Watch all of the politicians, pundits and social media users yell, argue, fight, demean, and insult one another and reflect on why nothing ever changes.
👉​What you can do with others:
Did you know we can design a custom leadership program based on topics like the one above? Click the button to learn more.
That's all for now

I think that will do it for this week. Maybe we can all take some time to reflect on what is happening in America and think about finding places of common ground with those around us.

Before I end however I will leave you with one final thought. 
  • Real leadership isn't about rallying all the people that agree with you. It is about listening, working together and driving to consensus with those who don't agree with you. That is what we need right now so let's get to it.

Thanks for reading.

​Please remember:
  • We archive our stories and put them here for the world to read so feel free to have a look.
  • If you have any ideas or feedback Contact me with your thoughts.
  • We can create custom newsletters​ and training sessions on the topics we write about.
Rich Trombetta
​@trombettarich

Please share this and tell your friends and colleagues!
Our mission is to revolutionize corporate learning and development by providing quick, timely and practical leadership lessons using relatable examples from pop culture.
​
Our why: Most corporate learning and development is boring, doesn't work or is only available to people with the cash to afford it. We say "enough." It is time to smash traditional training models and instead make learning quick, fun, relatable and accessible for everyone. 
Copyright 2022 The Pop Culture Training Company. ​